Emotionally focused therapy
Feel Deeply and Connect Authentically.
Emotionally focused therapy helps you break free from painful relationship patterns and rebuild the deep connection you've been missing with your partner. If you're feeling emotionally disconnected or stuck in the same cycles of conflict and distance, EFT offers a proven path to understanding the emotions driving your behavior and creating lasting change in how you connect with the people who matter most.
Emotionally focused therapy is at the heart of my work with individuals and couples in New Canaan, CT who are committed to prioritizing their emotional well-being and relationships. I partner with clients who are ready to move beyond surface-level conversations and do the meaningful work of understanding their emotional landscape, so they can experience the authentic connection and fulfillment they deserve in both their personal relationships and professional lives.
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is an evidence-based approach that goes beyond simple communication techniques. Instead of just teaching you what to say, EFT helps you understand the emotional patterns driving your relationship behaviors and guides you toward a deeper, more authentic connection.
At its core, EFT recognizes that humans have fundamental needs for emotional security and attachment. When these needs aren't met, we develop protective patterns—withdrawing, pursuing, criticizing—that actually push away the very connection we crave. Through our work together, you'll learn to recognize these patterns, access the vulnerable emotions beneath them, and create new ways of connecting that feel safer and more fulfilling.
This approach is grounded in attachment science and decades of research demonstrating its effectiveness for relationship healing and strengthening.
How I Use Emotionally Focused Therapy
My approach to EFT is personalized to your unique situation. I don't believe in one-size-fits-all therapy—your relationship challenges are personal, and our work together reflects that reality.
Understanding Your Patterns
We begin by identifying the negative cycles keeping you stuck. Most couples find themselves in a predictable dance where one person's reaction triggers the other's response, creating an escalating pattern neither person wants. During my intake process, I conduct a deep dive into your background to understand not just what's happening now, but how you arrived here.
Accessing Deeper Emotions
The emotions you show on the surface—anger, frustration, indifference—are often protective layers over more vulnerable feelings. Beneath that anger might be fear of abandonment or deep sadness about feeling unseen by your partner. I create a safe space where you can access and express these authentic emotions, which is where real transformation happens.
Creating New Connection
As you develop emotional awareness, we work on building new patterns of interaction. You learn to express your needs more directly and respond to your partner with empathy. After care has been established, appointments are scheduled on a weekly basis, and there might be some homework between sessions to help you integrate what you're learning into daily life.
Who Benefits from Emotionally Focused Therapy
Individuals Working on Relationship Patterns
Even if you're not currently in a relationship, EFT principles help you understand your patterns in romantic connections. If you repeatedly find yourself attracted to unavailable partners, struggle to maintain relationships beyond the initial excitement, or feel uncertain about how to create secure attachment, this approach provides valuable insights for building healthier relationships.
Couples Seeking Deeper Connection
If you and your partner feel distant, stuck in repetitive conflicts, or simply want more emotional intimacy, EFT offers a proven path forward. My ideal clients are committed to self-improvement and make therapy a priority in their lives. You don't need to be in crisis to benefit—many couples I work with are functional but know something is missing from their connection.
Those Navigating Dating and New Relationships
Understanding your emotional patterns and attachment style can transform your dating experience. Rather than repeating past mistakes, you gain clarity about what you need and how to communicate effectively from the beginning of new relationships.
What Makes My Approach Different
The vast majority of therapists haven't worked in the business world, which means they may not fully understand the unique pressures facing driven professionals. I bring practical insights from my corporate experience to help you navigate dating while maintaining your career focus and personal ambitions, whether you're joining me for in-person sessions at my New Canaan office or connecting online from anywhere in New York or Connecticut.
My approach emphasizes individual growth and self-awareness. The most successful daters understand themselves well, communicate clearly, and approach relationships from a place of wholeness. I help you become the best version of yourself, which naturally attracts healthier relationships.
I also understand that dating doesn't exist in isolation from other life areas. Work stress can impact your dating life, and relationship struggles can affect professional performance. Because I specialize in both Career Counseling and relationship work, I address these interconnections comprehensively.
My Unique Approach to Emotionally Focused Therapy
What sets my practice apart is the combination of therapeutic expertise with real-world business experience. Having worked in the business world before becoming a therapist—an experience that 99 percent of other therapists don't have—I bring a unique perspective to understanding the pressures my clients face.
Many of my clients deal with issues in romantic relationships as well as challenges in their careers. These areas are interconnected, and I understand how work stress affects your relationship and how relationship difficulties impact professional performance. This background allows me to help you navigate both arenas more effectively.
Integrating Multiple Therapeutic Approaches
While EFT forms the core of my work with relationship issues, I also integrate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, and Solution-Focused Therapy based on your specific needs. This comprehensive approach addresses both thinking patterns and emotional experiences, creating lasting change at multiple levels.
Issues Addressed Through Emotionally Focused Therapy
Relationship-Related Anxiety
When you don't feel securely connected to your partner, anxiety naturally follows. You might constantly worry whether your partner truly loves you or feel anxious when you're apart. EFT addresses the root cause by strengthening your emotional bond, which typically reduces anxiety as you develop confidence in the relationship's stability.
Depression and Disconnection
Feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner can contribute to depression. EFT helps rebuild connection, and as you become able to share your authentic self and receive empathic responses, you often experience improvements in mood and overall well-being.
Work Stress and Career Transitions
Work stress doesn't stay at the office—it affects how you show up in your relationship. My business background helps me understand these pressures in ways that inform our therapeutic work. We explore how career challenges impact your relationship and develop strategies for maintaining emotional connection during stressful professional periods.
What to Expect When Working with Me
Comprehensive Assessment
When you reach out to my practice, I conduct a thorough assessment of your situation. This deep dive into your background helps me understand your current challenges and the context in which they developed. For couples, I explore each partner's perspective and the patterns that have developed between you.
Flexible Session Options
I offer both in-person sessions and online sessions, providing flexibility to accommodate your schedule and preferences. Online therapy has proven just as effective as in-person work for many clients and eliminates travel time.
Commitment to Your Growth
Successful therapy requires your active participation. Between sessions, you'll practice new ways of connecting and remain curious about your emotional experiences. This isn't passive work—you're an active agent in your own healing and growth. I'll support you through challenging moments while encouraging you to stay engaged with the process.
Begin Your Journey Toward Deeper Connection
The work of therapy is challenging, but the potential rewards make it worthwhile. Imagine feeling truly understood by your partner, able to navigate conflicts without fear. Imagine relationships that feel secure and satisfying rather than anxious and unpredictable. These outcomes are possible through the deep work of Emotionally Focused Therapy.
My approach combines the structure and evidence base of EFT with the personalized attention your unique situation deserves. Drawing on my therapeutic training and real-world business experience, I help clients in New Canaan, CT navigate the intersection of relationship and career challenges with warmth and confidence.
If you're ready to prioritize your emotional well-being and invest in creating the relationships you desire, I'm here to guide and support you through this transformative process. For information about scheduling and getting started, please reach out to my practice directly. I look forward to supporting you on your journey toward greater emotional connection and relationship fulfillment.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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Emotionally focused therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps you understand and work with the emotions underlying your relationship patterns. I use EFT to help you identify the emotional cycles keeping you stuck, so you can create more secure, authentic connections with your partner and develop healthier ways of relating to the important people in your life.
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Unlike traditional talk therapy that focuses primarily on thoughts and behaviors, emotionally focused therapy goes deeper into the emotional experiences driving your relationship patterns. I help you access and express the vulnerable emotions often hidden beneath conflict, allowing you to rebuild trust and connection from a place of genuine emotional understanding rather than just managing symptoms or changing surface behaviors.
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The length of emotionally focused therapy varies based on your unique situation and goals. Most clients work with me on a weekly basis, and we regularly assess your progress together. Some individuals and couples notice meaningful shifts within a few months, while others benefit from longer-term work to fully transform their relationship patterns and emotional responses.
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While EFT is well known for couples work, I also use emotionally focused therapy principles with individuals who struggle with relationship patterns, career challenges, and emotional regulation. Whether you're navigating dating, workplace dynamics, or personal growth, understanding your emotional patterns and attachment needs can transform how you show up in all areas of your life.
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During our EFT sessions, I guide you through exploring the emotions beneath your relationship struggles and help you express what you're truly feeling in a safe, structured environment. You can expect me to do a deep dive into your background during our initial sessions, and as we progress, I may assign homework between weekly appointments to help you practice new ways of connecting and responding emotionally.
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Emotional vulnerability is a key part of the healing process in EFT, but I create a safe space where this happens gradually and at a pace that feels manageable for you. My role is to help you access and share emotions you may have been protecting or hiding, while ensuring both partners feel heard and understood throughout the process.
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My prior experience in the business world gives me unique insight into how career stress and workplace dynamics affect your relationships and emotional well-being. When using emotionally focused therapy, I understand the pressure you face in your professional life and how those stressors can create emotional distance in your personal relationships, allowing me to address both areas in a way most therapists cannot.
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Emotionally focused therapy can be highly effective for anxiety and depression, especially when these struggles are connected to relationship issues or emotional disconnection. By helping you understand and express your emotions more effectively, EFT often reduces the isolation and emotional suppression that fuel anxiety and depression, while strengthening the supportive relationships that promote healing.
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I offer emotionally focused therapy both online and in person at my New Canaan, CT location, giving you flexibility in how you access care. Whether you prefer the convenience of virtual sessions or the in-person connection of meeting face to face, the therapeutic process and my approach to EFT remain equally effective and personalized to your needs.
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Getting started is simple. Reach out to me directly to discuss your situation, and we'll determine if emotionally focused therapy is the right fit for your goals. I work with individuals and couples who are committed to self-improvement and ready to prioritize their emotional growth, so if that sounds like you, I invite you to contact me for scheduling and to learn more about how we can work together.