Couples Counseling After Divorce: Moving Forward Together and Apart

Often, the language around couples counseling is focused on healing and growing. The idea is that a relationship that is in trouble contacts a couples therapist, who will help put the relationship back together.

But there’s a problem: not all relationships are meant to be saved. Sometimes, you are simply not with the right person. The question then becomes: what happens next?

Far too often, both partners have high emotional reactivity, poor communication, and resentment that affects not only their future, but the future of their children and other relationships they may have.

Seeing a Therapist to Learn to Be Apart, Together

Couples therapy is not only about saving relationships. It’s also about personal healing and growth. That means that it can be a beneficial experience for those that have decided not to stay together, but still want to be on the best terms possible for:

·       Figuring out assets.

·       Spending time with friends.

·       Co-parenting, and more.

It’s also about trying to heal together from this relationship so that you can better prepare yourself for the next one(s), and to do so without resentment for your partner holding you back.

Within the context of couples counseling, you can talk about:

·       Addressing past resentments and insecurities.

·       How to navigate future relationships without jealousy/envy.

·       What to do if there is a mutual challenge to address.

·       How to handle friendships and family gatherings amicably.

We can still skills build as well, looking for better ways to communicate and understand your former partner better so that you can look back on your history together with more happiness or understanding.

The Next Steps – Learning to Date

Once you’ve learned to communicate and put some of your past relationship patterns behind you, then we can see each other individually. We can go through dating coaching, talk about online dating, talk through this new dating world, and much more. If it has been a while since you have dated anyone, then you may find that you need help navigating what dating is like now, and working through new issues that may arise like step-parenting. You can then do that with the knowledge that you are ready to move forward, because your past has been better healed.

Starting the Process of Moving On

If you want to save a relationship, couples counseling can be a great help. But you don’t have to save a relationship to benefit from this type of therapy. The approaches and techniques used can help even after divorce – even after you have no intentions to be together – and can then set you up for a future where you are putting yourself in the best possible position to find love again.

Based in New Canaan, I provide individual relationship counseling to those in the area, including Norwalk, Stamford, Darien, Westport, Greenwich, Ridgefield, Pound Ridge, and Bedford and online across CT & NY.